BREAKING NEWS: SECURITY SCANDAL(parody)

From: BigFix, Inc

WASHINGTON - In a surprise move that is sending shockwaves through the close knit high-tech community, thousands of software sales professionals have been subpoenaed by the Software Truth Commission.

Approximately 15,000 professional sales professionals whose job is to peddle multimillion dollar software products began receiving subpoenas two weeks ago.

The first witness to testify is James Smith. See exclusive footage of Smith   as he spars with commissioners. Smith starts out strong, testifying that he is "proud to be a salesman" yet over the course of several hours of grueling testimony he begins to confess the truth about his product's failings.

Asked why the hearings were called, one commissioner stated, "We're sick and tired of the lies, half-truths and ambiguity that has become almost standard practice when it comes to software sales. We see demos that bear no resemblance to the final product, we see software that takes up to two years to install. This is a scandal. Billions of dollars and in some cases lives are at stake."

Quick Facts:

24,393 Sales professionals summoned 7 Commissioners $3 Trillion  "Wasted" on under-performing software, since 2003. Average interview length: 9 hours per/salesperson View source